Very Important Record

This is what happens when you ask a woman to do a man's job.

2006-09-22T20:56:11Z

Kavanagh fumes as he walked back from the cafeteria after lunch, bringing an extra large mug of coffee back with him. Today had been particularly trying. Only yesterday had he told Parrish that he'd need her to take charge of the department again for a while and this morning she hadn't shown up. Honestly, he was rethinking placing her in charge, none of the new staff seem to have any work ethic. Robinson and Dalley are both out without explanation too. Women!

Messages of Love

2006-09-15T20:01:16Z

He got home early that day, eager to share his news with his lovers. Unfortunately neither of them were back yet. They'd only moved into the new, larger quarters that McGregor had suggested to David a couple of weeks ago and the place still seemed eerily quiet and impersonal. But at least now they had an fully-fitted little kitchen. Much better than the sparse kitchenlet in the old place. Thinking that it would be a nice way to celebrate, he decided to cook them a meal.

Of course he'd forgotten the only time he could actually cook was when he had Nick standing over him, literally holding his hand. An hour in, the sparkling new kitchen was a complete mess and he was covered in a mixture of Athosian flour, spices and some green, liquid stuff he couldn't identify.

Giving up, he sat down on the table and waited for Nick to come back. He knew he should probably start cleaning up at least but he was tired and frustrated. Some of David's paper was lying around on the table and he dug out a pen from the bottom of his pocket and started scribbling.

Nick, I love that you manage to turn me into a relatively decent cook.
David, you have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen in real life.
Nick, your smile - that deep genuine one that brings out your dimples and lights up your eyes, yeah that one - makes my day.
David, I don't know how it happened but I'm a better person when I'm with you.
Nick, you're who I think of to make me feel better when the morons are driving me crazy.
David, All of my best dreams star you.
Nick, that line of your neck, I love biting that. To mark you as mine.
David, I love to suck on your bottom lip.
Nick, I love you.
David, I love you.

Before he even realised it, he'd written dozens of little messages by scribbling down whatever came to mind, but all of them sincere, from the heart. He smiled, reading over them and actually seeing them for the first time. In a surge of uncharacteristic sappiness, he placed them all over the quarters. Some in obvious places, inside David's laptop, under the cushion of Nick's favourite chair. But most of them went in more awkward places, behind the photoframe on the top shelf, underneath the shoe box at the bottom of the wardrobe, places where they may not be found for weeks or even months.

Lunch Date

2006-09-07T14:42:18Z

After Nick's visit, he couldn't get back into the work and it was almost lunch time anyway. So he left the lab to grab a few sandwiches and a couple of cups of coffee from the mess hall and took them to David's lab.

They've been talking for a while and he's just finished telling him about his argument with Nick last night. "I don't really know what happened. Things just got out of control." He murmurs burying his head in his hands. "But now he doesn't want me anywhere near Jazlyn."

This was sooo not how my life was supposed to go...

2006-09-01T12:33:26Z

He had picked Jazlyn up from her first day with the new nanny on his way back home from the labs as David had asked. Neither Nick or David were here, something going on with Bates and Moore. But he and Jazlyn had been getting along fine. He had even managed to feed her something vaguely healthy. That was before he mentioned it was bedtime and the waterworks had started. He'd left her to cry for a while, thinking she may just tire herself out but she'd only gotten louder and louder.

That's how he's ended up pacing back and forth across the room, rocking a very loud, wailing Jazlyn in his arms. "Sssh now, it's ok. They'll be back soon. There, there." He says frantically, rubbing her back and practically shouting in order to hear himself over her screams. It doesn't seem to do any good at all.

Finally, getting frustrated, he plops her down on a chair. "Hey listen to me you little brat. If you don't start behaving yourself right now, I'm gonna tell Weir she can send you wherever the hell she wants." He's hoping that will quieten her. It seems to work, as she pauses for a moment, but then she starts screaming again with renewed vigour.

"Ok, ok, look I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Please, please be quiet. I promise your Ami and Abu will be back soon." But nothing he says seems to calm her. He's about to give up and call Nick when he has a odd flashback of his Mom singing to Owen when they were younger. It's strange, he didn't think he had any positive memories of her. Still it had worked for Owen.

"Hey kid, want me to sing to you?" That gets her to stop sobbing for long enough to nod. "Ok, ok, fine." He murmurs, picking her up again and rocking her slightly against his hip. "Mmmm I don't know any children songs." He realises suddenly, finding the hole in his brilliant plan.

This sets her off again, so thinking quickly, he starts murmuring the first thing that comes to mind.

Some Adult Time

2006-08-03T09:58:28Z

Jazlyn had been bouncing around all evening at the thought of seeing the kitten with David. She'd wanted Nick to come too, but he was still uncomfortable with Zelenka. And there was no way Kavanagh was going to McGregor's house so he could watch the little kid could play with Colonel Kirk. He didn't even want her to be influenced by the likes of him. But she kicked up a real fuss when he tried suggesting they don't go and he quickly got over-ridden by the other two.

"Just watch her carefully, will you." He whispered to David as Nick gave Jazlyn some last minute etiquette lessons. They both kissed David and Nick added one on to Jazlyn's cheek, as they left.

They stand still in the room for a minute, it feeling unnaturally quiet. "I have something for you." Cal says all of a sudden. He goes to the desk and brings out the carefully wrapped remaining chocolate treat. "Teyla gave these to me. We saved you one." He takes it out and looks at with obvious desire. "Of course, this is the last one. You might have to fight me for it."

Life is just one damned thing after another

2006-07-22T08:29:37Z

Though David had been calm and quiet over the comm, he could hear the urgency in his voice. The subtle way in which his accent showed through, especially on the ends of words, when he was panicked. He quickly finishes loading the rest of the samples on the mass spectrometer and programs the machine.

Parrish is still off gallivanting across the galaxy with Colonel Kirk, as if there aren't enough grunts to do that kind of thing. Sighing he shouts at Simpson instead. "Simpson, all your attention - there." He emphasises the point on his way out by lightly pulling her from her desk and pushing her toward it. He doesn't stick around to hear her complaints. He knows she'll do it anyway, she's always had a pretty decent sense of what's important.

He quick steps all the way to the messhall but David and Nick are already there when he arrives. Not bothering with food, he heads straight towards their table. It's only when he gets closer that he sees a small child sitting in between them.

"Nick, you ok?" He quickly does his usual post-mission sweep, at least of all the parts he can see. "Who's this? Did you find a run-away?"

The only up side of being attacked...

2006-07-17T19:34:16Z

The Wraith had all been taken care of. Nick and the other pilots had bought the people on the mainland back to Atlantis. And now was everyone's chance to catch their breath before the hectic pace of their normal Atlantean days caught up with them again.

Once things are stabilised in the lab, Kavanagh heads back to their quarters. He's already overheard Sheppard ordering Nick to get some time off. Whilst walking he comms David. "Davey, you probably heard by now, but by some complete fluke we managed to win out again. The Wraith are all gone. Saera's fine. Nick and I are heading home. Come join us."

He passes plenty of people in the corridors, either wanderless and confused or working off the excess adrenaline or like he was, making sure the people they cared about were ok. Thankfully most of them ignore him. Katie Brown looks like she's about to stop him, she's eyeing out his now nasty bruise but he makes his conversation with David more apparent and speeds past. She just smiles. "Tell Davey I'm glad he's not blown up."

Eventually he reaches his destination and enters, closing the door behind him. He throws off his jacket. "Hey Nick, you here?"

Invasion again

2006-07-16T17:02:26Z

McKay still has him doing nothing but watching the power levels and ensuring they don't drop below the needed level, or just as bad, spike. Though an important job, almost anyone on the science team could do it and it's sends out a clear message that McKay can't put his personal feelings aside to put their resources to the best use in a crisis. Bad leadership skills. It's something he plans on bringing up later.

For now, it means he has plenty of attention to spare so after his check in with David, he's taps into the comm system to see how they're doing. He's relieved to hear Nick's voice informing Sheppard that the Wraith in the city have been neutralised.

"Kavanagh to Lorne. Good job. But it sounds like they could do with a hand on the mainland, the Wraith darts have us out-numbered but we still have two 'jumpers free. Oh and Nick, David's sister is out there. He's a little panicked."

He pauses to glance at the power levels - still holding steady - thanks to David's new ZPMs. He catches sight of himself in the reflective console. The make-up David so carefully applied, what feels like days ago but was only been a few hours earlier, has worn off and the ugly, purple bruise is blooming across his jaw. He sighs, not much he can do about it now, at least everyone's too busy to notice it.

The things I do for these men.... sigh

2006-06-18T18:59:29Z

For the third time in a row, he faces the other direction and sneezes into the handkerchief with the letters NML embroidered with care in the corner. The flour, the cause of his irritation, was everywhere. Lightly dusting his sleeves, sticking to his hands and a smudge of it had even managed to get on his cheek.

"Nick!" He complains. "When you asked me to help bake David a cake, I thought you meant in an advisory capacity. As in from the other room. Or possibly via email. You're the cook anyway. Can I not just do the chocolate parts when you've finished." He whines but there's a gleam in his eyes. Spending time with Nick doing something so mundane, so ordinary is far more enjoyable than it has any right to be.

Between Nick's charm and his angry suggestions and subtle guilt trips, they'd managed to get all the ingredients to give David a proper Birthday meal. And 'borrow' out the main kitchen to prepare it in. Of course their botanist was away, but all being well they were expecting him back soon.

The walls have ears

2006-06-11T20:13:39Z

He stumbled backwards after she left, letting the door close itself. He tried to reach on the couch again but collapsed on the floor close enough that he could lean against it. His knees were curled in close to his body and his head bent low in his hands. His breath was coming in short, irregular, shuddering gasps and he tried to get control of them again. But before he could manage, his stomach started churning and he crawled to the bathroom. Not making it to the toilet in time he was sick all over the tiled floor.

Exhausation milled with a dozen other emotions he couldn't process and he slid down against the wall. He tapped his comm, not bothering to select a specific channel. "Nick...I...Are you busy?...Can you come home?...Please?" He stuttered over the radio.

The things boredom makes us do

2006-06-10T17:55:55Z

Once again, he found himself alone and bored in their quarters. Nick and David's stuff was scattered all over the place but both of his lover's were busy. Beckett had promised that he could go back to work later this week, but wouldn't even consider letting him back sooner. Despite the fact that he'd figured out body-swapping machine and was obviously well again.

Fed up of fuming and reading through the latest batch of science journals that were so wrong it made him want to kill things, he'd started picking up random things and putting them away. Two thirds of the living space was tidy before he'd even realised he was cleaning. He'd shaken his head in horror and kept going. Somewhere along the way Nick and David had managed to domesticate him.

With that done too, he started working on the project for David's birthday. Nick would be upset he'd started without him, but he was pretty certain he could bring him around.

As if twins weren't enough trouble already...

2006-06-03T17:56:52Z

After the infirmary, he'd gone to the control room. He decided it was easier to just ignore the strange looks and pointless offers of help and had tracked down the unexplained power spike within moments. Transferring the location to a handheld interface he let it lead him to the right place.

It wasn't until he was in the room and already crouching down in front of the machine that he thought to look around. As soon as he did, he was hit by a flood of memories, he'd worked so hard to suppress. Being held down against his will. Feeling trapped and helpless. His body forced to betray him. He closed his eyes, leaning against the wall and tried to block them out, replace them with images of Nick and David. David who'd come for him then and who needed him know. Gathering his strenght, he crawled back to the machine and started assessing the damage.

“Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything.”

2006-05-19T14:22:56Z

The nightmares are getting less frequent, or maybe he's just getting more accustomed to walking up with tears streaming down his face. At least now it's only the odd night when it's the screaming that wakes him and therefore his concerned lovers.

The days are getting better too. Beckett still won't let him back to work yet but the number of pain killers needed to keep going are steadily going down and his appetite is improving. He's following strict exercises to gain back the fine motor control in his left hand. Until now the overall weakness meant he could only walk around their quarters. Even going to the infirmary normally required help but this morning he was told he needs to get more exercise.

It's almost lunch time but he doesn't think he can face the mass of people in the mess hall. The encounters with McKay's lot in the infirmary have still been terrifying the hell out of him. He's waiting for the other shoe to drop. But reluctantly he leaves the quarters and slowly walks through a couple of corridors and around pier 3. With his head still full of everything that's happened and everything that's changed, he's not really thinking about where he's going. Only when he realises he's reached Nick's office, does he stop, a little startled. The glass on the door is opaque and he can't see if there's anyone in there so he chimes the door panel.

Still in the infirmary

2006-05-08T18:45:22Z

Kavanagh was still stuck in the infirmary. Nick and David both had to leave for a while but had promised to be back and help his convince the medical staff he was fit enough to at least be sent back to their quarters on bed rest. Lots of bed rest. Less emphasis on the rest.

He was flicking through reports from the chemistry department and glanced at other things that caught his attention, starting with the most recent and working backwards. He hadn't gotten all that far. The cocktail of drugs and occasional bursts of pain keeping his attnetion span pretty low. But he kept up at it, if nothing else, keeping busy meant he didn't have to think back on the last few days.

Home coming

2006-05-01T19:09:44Z

Kavanagh stirs into consciousness extremely slowly. His head is throbbing with an intense pain, matched only by that in his left arm, which is definitely broken now. He’s in a darkened room. The air is cold and damp. The floor however is warmer and softer. Not smooth like a mattress but disjointed and uneven. He can’t place it. Can’t stay awake long enough to think about it. He blissfully lets the darkness overwhelm him again, taking the pain with it.

The next time he awakes, he manages to stay awake for long enough to figure out that the ‘floor’ is actually a mass of tangled, dead bodies. Despite the pain, he crawls away frantically, his glasses falling off in the process. He doesn’t even think about stopping to look for them. Once he’s cleared the pile, he doubles over and starts dry-heaving. His stomach is too empty to bring anything up but the retching continues until he passes out again.

It takes a while longer before he can move again. But slowly he crawls away into a little hole in the floor, sheltered by a ledge forming out of the rock face. It takes even longer before his memory comes back. Even then it’s only in pieces. David. The fights. Nick. The escape plan. He stays curled up in the tiny little hole for a dozen cycles of passing out and waking up to pain. Through the pain though, there’s one thought clear in his mind. One thing that makes waking up still worth it. ‘Nick will come for me’. He has no way to judge time but he thinks they must be close to putting the escape plan into action by now. He waits through several more cycles. It becoming like a chant in his head now. ‘Nick will come. He’d never leave without me. Nick will come. This will all be over soon. Nick will come.’

It must be weeks before he finally accepts that Nick isn’t coming. The plan must have gone horribly wrong. He can only think of one reason why Nick wouldn’t come for him. But that’s a thought he can’t accept and he banishes it from his mind. Instead focusing on his slowly increasing strength – he’s been rationing the few powerbars stashed in his pockets. Never before has he been so glad of his tendency to plan for the worst. Plus Nick must have added some of his in there too. He tries not to let the realisation reduce him to tears.

He knows he needs to leave, to try and find the gate. Getting out of there isn’t hard. The room isn’t guarded at all. The complex itself is pretty empty too, when there isn’t a fight on. Obviously the guards are far too arrogant about anyone’s ability to break out from the prison system. He wants to go look for Nick, and the others, but knows that’ll reduce the chance of him escaping successfully. Much better to just get back to Atlantis and let a fully trained team come through. It still hurts to leave behind his lover.

Outside the complex, the gate is easy to see in the distance. He works his way towards it, going as much in a straight line as possible. Thankfully the rest of the planet seems to be uninhabited. He sleeps during the day to escape the heat. The powerbars are all but finished but there are several plants containing berries he thinks should be edible. Not having much to lose anyway, he tries them. They’re bitter and don’t provide much nourishment but they don’t seem to do any harm either. He comes across a small stream and drinks greedily. He has nothing he can use to store the water so he drinks as much as possible.

It turns out that the ‘gate is further than it looks and he becomes increasingly more tired with passing day. His injuries slowing him down more and more. He doesn’t think his arm is ever going to be the same. The bones seem to have healed but fused back in a slightly odd position and he can’t get the arm fully straight. His head is throbbing as it has done ever since the attack. He vaguely remembers being repeatedly smashed with a wooden block. After a week or so of the days and nights on this planet he finally reaches the Stargate.

Only then does he realise that he has no idea what to do next. He doesn’t have any of his gear so no IDC. He curses himself, and the head injury for not considering that sooner. In a fit of rage he picks up the nearest rock and throws it at the stone ring as hard as possible. Which to be fair isn’t all that hard since he barely has the idea to lift it. It does give him an idea though. He gathers as many of the stones lying around the gate as possible, trying for the bigger ones but then just giving up and gathering any pebbles. It should still work, he thinks. He dials the address for Atlantis and throws in the first four stones in rapid sequence, knowing they’ll hit the shield. He waits a moment before throwing in another two. Another moment is followed by three more stones. Then one. He keeps going. Nine. Eight. Six. Three. Five.

Tapping out the sequence of his IDC.

Five. Eight. Nine. Seven.

He stops to gather more stones.

Three. Eight. Two. Three. Five.

“Come on McKay, Zelenka, someone, figure it out. This is simple enough even for you.” He mutters as he lets the 'gate shut down. Almost praying for a response.

Goodbye to you, Goodbye to everything I knew

2006-03-23T15:44:15Z

I agree to go on one little, at the time I thought, simple mission and they think I've signed on for life or something now. More of that ore from PXX 7366 - which Weir insisted we dub "Alendronite" after the planet it was found on - was accidentally discovered on a different planet when one of Sheppard's teams were scouting for Ba'al. The new kid is worried Ba'al could use it in - well the same way we intended to - as an efficient power source. Obviously they want to try and keep that from happening so Weir's senting Nick and a couple of others to extract it. Now here's the part I don't get. Nick spent years as part of a mining unit. He really doesn't need me holding his hand. Yet, Weir won't see logic. Mainly I think she's still punishing me for some imagined slight.

He stops gathering his notes to look over to the bed where David and Nick are still cuddled together asleep. Smiling, he puts the stuff down on the desk. There's still a few hours before the mission. Time that could be spent much better than on complaining, he thinks as he burrows in between both of them.

"Come on David, time to wake up." He quietly purrs into his ear, nuzzling him. Knowing Nick, being the lightest sleeper, would wake up at the slightest nosie.

All's well that ends well

2006-03-06T18:05:40Z

He walked to the mess hall quickly, stopping to check in both his and David's quarter's first. No sign of him. It was mid-morning, he'd probably gone to work without hearing from either of them, he thought with a stab of guilt. Burying the feeling under one of Nick waiting for him, he arrived at the mess hall and grabbed a few sandwiches plus some off-brown scrambled eggs left over from breakfast. Adding a couple of cups of coffee to the tray, he headed back out again, not really interested in conversing with anyone. Coming back to Nick's quarters, he let himself in.

The quarters were cleaned, the beer wiped away, the glass swept up. The dishes cleaned, bed linen changed, the stale chips thrown in the bin and the balcony doors opened to let in the warm breeze, the sound of the ocean filling the apartment. Nick was stood at his desk searching through his draw. His bare rear presenting itself too tempting a target as he bent over rifling through his drawers. He yelped, straightening as Cal came along and pinched him.

"Sorry" he whispered kissing his shoulder. "It was just calling to me." He grinned "and now I'm feeling over-dressed. Wanna help me rectify that problem?" He asked with an air of innocence.

Lorne shook, his head, "this is important." He whispered. "Well important to me." He murmured cradling the leather bound bundle of papers.

The seriousness in his voice stopped him. "What is it?" He asked looking at the apparent scrap pieces of paper.

Lorne slipped the origami flower out and slipped it into Cal's pocket, "This...This is..." He untied the leather strap opening it up to see the papers. "This is every letter I wrote to you since that night." He replied quietly staring at the worn leather. It’s...It's everything I feel about you."

He smiled at the flower, fingering the delicate design in his pocket. He knew that Nick had made them like crazy for David but he was touched that he had left one for him.

Nick's next words, quietly spoken, cut through to his heart. And he sat down on the floor, falling against the desk for support. He looked up at Nick, encouraging him to come sit down next to him.

He took another look at the papers, there were dozens. Nick had written all these in a few nights? Tentatively he reached out and lightly touched one, just feeling the texture of the paper. Somehow feeling connected to how Nick must have felt when he was writing them.

"Can I see?" He asked. His awe-struck voice barely above a whisper.

Nick smiled slightly. "They're addressed to you." He replied quietly sitting down next to him and handing him the book of letters.

His hands shaking, he turned the leather cover and looked at the first letter. The first thing that struck him was how difficult it was to read - the writing completely tear stained. He looked up at Nick with a soft smile and stroked his cheek.

Nick ducked his head, leaning into the touch. He glanced at the papers, at the emotional turmoil they held with each pen stroke.

The first pages showed a jumbled mass of emotion and tears screwed up and put back together, incoherent in it's absolute necessity to say Sorry. As he moved further on the writing grew easier, the words more distinguishable, his apologies clearer. The pages whispered of every moment Kavanagh was cruel or vindictive. How Lorne hated himself for making the chemist that way, of making Cal hate him. Then came the pages of despair where his love seemed so one sided he had no hope of ever winning him back. This changed with his outburst. Their first date - his words changed to how much he adored Cal, how deeply he loved him, how he'd die for him without hesitation. Cal and David meant more to him than anything else the universe could conjure. The pages were filled with hope and trepidation, of love and adoration. Of his absolute wonder at them giving him a chance to redeem himself.

He didn't need to be able to read the words on the first few pages, the regret and pain clearly spelt out in smudged ink and paper worn thin and crinkly with wet tears. He moved his arm down to wrap around Nick's waist, holding him close, knowing it was too little too late but needing to touch him.

Moving on, the pages reminding him of his anger and unnecessary cruelty made him feel low and dirty. This was exactly the reaction he'd wanted to get from his lover at the time, but knowing he'd succeeded made his head hurt. "I never stopped loving you,” he whispered "never", as he squeezed his arm tighter.

The love and hope reflected in the days after that caused a few tears escape unknowingly down his cheeks. They'd never needed words for him to know that Nick loved him just as deeply and passionately as he loved Nick. But to see it confirmed in writing and realise how close he'd come to loosing it made him tremble and shake, the tears gathering speed.

As he got to the end, he closed the make-shift book, holding it close to his heart. Leaning into Nick's side, burying his face under his arm, he babbled quietly. His words full of apologies and remorse. Most of them absorbed into Nick's soft skin, only the occasional phrase drifted into the room. "Sorry....so sorry...shouldn't have...love you...put you through...didn't understand...angry...love you...forgive me...why...love you...love you...love you."

Nick watched him read, uncertain; a little embarrassed at all the pain in those pages. Leaning against him as Cal wrapped his arm around his waist, his own arm wrapping around him loosely. Kavanagh's confirmation of love sounded in his ears and he kept silent until the chemist had finished and was babbling into his chest. Lorne cuddled him close his fingers stroking the back of his neck soothingly as he always used to do. His arms tightening around him as he held him. "Cal, it's ok." He whispered. "I have nothing to forgive you for, I pushed you into this." He murmured quietly into his ear.

"Over reacted...went too far...was too angry....almost pushed you away." He mumbled, soothed a little by Nick's presence.

"Cal look at me." He whispered lifting the chemists head he placed a strong kiss on his lips. Then rested his forehead against his, looking into his red rimmed brown eyes. "You won't push me away now will you?" He asked.

He felt Nick kiss him hard, but he'd pulled away before he had a chance to respond, burning at the loss of contact, he looked into his lover's deep eyes. Trying to judge if the demoralising question was asked in sincerity. Looking away he shook his head, physically biting his bottom lip to hold back his response.

Lorne turned his head to face him again." Answer me." He whispered softly. "You won't do it again, will you?"

Forced, to look back into his eyes, he gives the answer he knows he should. "No. Nick, I'm sorry. I won't do it again." The sentiment at least is real. He's not going to risk ruining what they've worked so hard to get back by reminding his lover what it was they were arguing over in the first place.

Nick stroked his jaw and cheek whispering softly his gaze intense. "You don't need to be sorry. You've said you won't do it again, and you won't, I believe you implicitly." He replied gently. "So don't cry and don't beat yourself up over this. You have to let it go." He breathed gently kissing away the tear trails. "Forgive yourself." He murmured.

He nodded, using the sleeve of his jumper to wipe away the remnants of tears Nick had missed. He appreciated his faith and trust in him. And wanted so desperately to be able to return it just as completely but he needed to hear it. His voice shaking, terrified of angering his lover, he asked quietly. "You won't do it again either, right?"

Nick smiled at him a little sadly and shook his head. "Never," he whispered. His hands cupping Cal's face, his thumbs running over his cheekbones. His eyes open, and honest. "I swear it," he breathed.

Cal closed the small distance between them and kissed him, sweet and unhurried. "I believe you,” he whispered back. He still needed answers, but this would do for now.

Nick's eyes brightened as they broke off slowly. His smile widened as he looked at him pleased. "Thank you." He breathed happily.

"Ok, well the food will be completely cold now." He said looking back to where he'd placed the tray. Wanting this conversation to be over

"I don't mind, I'm starving." he replied releasing him and grabbing the tray before kicking Cal's legs apart slightly and sitting between them. The tray on his lap, he leaned back against Cal's chest picking through the food.

Picking up a something-resembling-ham sandwich, he broke of a small piece and fed it to Nick, leaving his fingers there to tease his lips. His chin resting on the top of Lorne’s head.

Nick smiled kissing them, remembering how awkward he had felt on their renewed first date just recently, seeing Cal and David like this and not being able to take part. Nick sighed and chewed before opening his mouth for another piece.

Calvin obediently complied, giving him some more and laughing as his stomach grumbled. "Impatient, aren't we?" He said rubbing it sensually in small circles.

Nick laughed leaning back in Cal's arms watching his hand run over Nick's grumbling stomach. "I'm a growing boy." He teased, "I need my food." He nodded his hands resting on Cal's knees as he settled back content to have Cal feed him.

He smiled thinking how much that sounded like something David would say and feed him another piece, rolling his eyes. "Great, I'm surrounded by children."

"Probably." He chuckled. "But children who adore you." He pointed out swiping a piece off the tray and kissing it before gently popping it into Cal's open mouth.

Calvin chuckled at the gesture, relishing his biscuit. He'd always been more touched by Nick's odd sense of romance than he let on. "Good. Just call me Mr. Nanny then." He fed Nick another bit of his sandwich, breaking up the pieces much more smaller than needed so he could prolong this. "I happen to adore these particular children too. Much better trained than those brats on the mainland."

Nick raised a brow eating it leisurely. "Trained?" He asked amused his fingers tracing patterns on Cal's knees

"Oh yeah, did I not let you in on my master plan?" He laughed, nibbling at Nick's ear. "Be nice to Nick and David until they're so helplessly under my spell that I can completely control them. See it's right under, take over the world and beat McKay to the Nobel prize.” He laughed pointing to an imaginary 'to-do' list.

"Huh so it is." He chuckled perusing the imaginary list cocking his head as Cal nibbled. "I think you can tick it off." He whispered closing his eyes. "I'd say it was a complete success."

"Really? A complete success, huh? I guess that means I can stop making an effort then." He says playfully shoving Nick out of his lap and popping the remainder of the sandwich in his own mouth.

“Hey, no, no, no. It needs continued treatments because otherwise it will revert back out of your control." He replied

"Oh I see,” he says thoughtfully, pulling off his jumper so his Globetrotter shirt is on display. Climbing on top of Nick and kissing him, he reaches for another sandwich. "And what do I get in the meantime?"

Nick leaned back, looking up at him as Cal climbed on top of him, smiling pleased at the sight of Kavanagh in his shirt. "You always look great in this." He chuckled brushing his upper arm before he was kissed. "Well what do you want in the meantime?" He asked.

"Mmm flattery and touching - that'll do for a start." He said with a wink, pulling Nick up to a sitting position and waving the sandwich in front of his mouth. Laughing, he moved it slightly every time he tried to take a bite.

Lorne laughed deciding to grab Cal's writs, pulling the sandwich in taking a bite defiantly. “Ok," he replied running his arm up his arm massaging over his bicep. His other hand removing Cal's glasses sliding them on his own face with a chuckle. "Your eyes are gorgeous."

"Now, now, that wasn't for you." He said licking into his mouth and using his tongue to push some of the mass of food into his own mouth.

"Crazy," he muttered, taking back his glasses and placing them on the side. His tone disbelieving, but as usual his heart rate increased a little with Nick's adoration.

Lorne smiled his hand running over his shoulder and down his chest resting on his heart. "I'm not." He replied gently nuzzling his neck deeply. "Gorgeous." He murmured kissing his neck softly before looking up at him. "You are...to me at least." He replied

Placing his own hand on the hand over his heart, he smiled again. "Like I said - crazy. That's not a bad thing though." He dropped his head back, stretching his neck out to give Nick better access. "Actually I think I kinda like crazy."

Lorne smiled his mouth settling on his pulse, suckling hard and nipping him, branding him with a deep red hickey. "Good I have a lot of that kinda crazy." He breathed softly over his wet skin

Calvin closed his eyes, just relaxing and enjoying the sensation. Nick pulled him in tighter his hand sliding under Cal's top resting comfortably on his stomach as he moved to a new spot on his neck.

Cal waited until Nick finished doing whatever it was he was doing with his incredibly talented mouth that felt that damn good. Breathing heavily, he waved at the tray of half eaten food. "Finish eating," he ordered "or you'll just start whining and send me out again." Getting up, he walked over to Nick's laptop, switching it on.

Lorne laughed standing up and picking up the tray, leaning over Cal's shoulder looking at the laptop with a smile as he ate his lunch.

Searching through his music files, he selected an old favourite. Looking back at Nick with a goofy smile, he held out his hand. "Dance with me?" He whispered softly, happy memories of rehearsing for his brother's wedding flooding back.

Lorne smiled softly hearing the first few bars. "Ok." He replied with a grin pulling him out of the chair

He lets Nick pull him in close to his naked body, sharing body heat. He puts his hand on Nick's waist, as Nick's arm comes to rest behind his neck. Closing his eyes for several beats, he listens, reminding himself of the sway of the music before he starts to move them both gracefully in time.

Nick smiled, burying a little into Cal. "You remembered how." He chuckled. "I thought you might have forgotten by now." He replied

"So did I," he admits with a laugh. "I guess some things come back pretty quickly." He spins Nick as the music speeds up and they end up crashing into each other. "Or maybe not," he amends, laughing and rubbing his nose.

"Ow..." He laughed rubbing his forehead. "Well it was good while it lasted." He chuckled.

A little disappointed, he kisses his forehead. "Don't suppose you wanna try again?"

He smiled softly "Ok." He replied "if you like." He relented with a smile. Lorne smiled resting his hand on Cal's, waist moving him easily again to the music. "Come on."

Falling back into step, he rested his head on Nick's shoulder. Letting the music wash over them, they danced back and forth across the small clearing in the quarters, staying close. They'd just gotten into the rhythm and by silent agreement they were ready to try for something more adventurous again, when the music stopped. Laughing, they both collapsed down on the couch.

Lorne stretched out on the couch, I've done what I wanted to do whilst bunking off school. Your turn now." He chuckled

Laying his head on Nick's lap, he mumbled: "Nah, I'm pretty happy too." After a moment's thought, he added: "although a massage wouldn't go astray," with a smile, looking up at Nick with intentionally hopeful eyes.

He laughed, "you never like my massages, you always complain I'm too rough." He chuckled. "Wimp."

"You know what they say Major: practice makes perfect." He insisted. "If I think you're being too rough, I'll just have to punish you by withholding sex." He deadpanned.

His eyes widened, "Well I'm not massaging you now." He chuckled. "Oh, you misunderstand, refusal incurs the same punishment, for longer." Kavanagh replied, rubbing his rough, unshaven cheek, along Nick's upper thigh, perilously close to his groin.

"Cal..." He whimpered moving his leg away. “Fine," he replied. "Lie down and take your shirt off," he added with a smile. Calvin happily did as he was told. Lorne stood up and leaned down his hands working on the back of Cal's neck and shoulders with strong sure hands.

Letting the couch take his weight, he consciously unwound his shoulders and let himself relax fully for the first time in weeks. Nick's hands were a little too forceful but they still felt incredible working out all the knots in his tired muscles. He sighed and moaned as Nick worked his back.

"You shouldn't moan like that it's indecent." He teased working down his spine his hands fanning out over his muscles.

"I don't know what you mean." He replied, exaggerating his moans further and adding a low, growly "Oh god" and "so good".

Lorne scowled down at him as he worked over his lower back. Rolling his eyes he shook his head. "Shut up," he chuckled.

"I'm sorry, Nick. Is this bothering - oooh yes, yes, yes - you or umm your 'little' friend?" He asked, staring pointedly at Nick's cock which gave a small twitch under the scrutiny.

"Eyes front and center." He ordered as he worked down his arms.

"How about hands?" He asked, reaching out to stroke down Nick's lean torso.

"No hands, keep them to yourself." He replied jumping out of the way taking one in his hand to work on it.

Giving in, he rested his head on the armrest as his muscles were slowly worked on, one at a time. His eyes closing, he let himself drift into a pleasant state of semi-awareness, trusting Nick to take care of him.

Nick worked slowly diligently, taking care of him protectively and pressing a kiss on Cal's lower back when he was done.

His breathing having evened out, he murmured sleepily. "Done? Do I'hafta move now?"

“Not if you don't want.” He replied sitting on the floor leaning back against the couch.

He scouted as far back as possible on the small couch, making some more space and opened his arms. "come?"

He glanced over at him before smiling suddenly. "I did, three times already." He chuckled but climbed up off the floor anyway.

"Mmm you did?" He asked, his pleasantly numb brain not getting the bad pun.

He rolled his eyes and pulled Cal off the couch. “Come on, more room on the bed." He replied leading him.

"No...said I didn't have to move...mean" Cal pouted.

"Yes I am I'm a mean Major. Up you get." He replied pulling him.

"Fine," he whined, wrapping his long arms around the major's shoulders. "Lift me?" He asked, trying to wrap his legs around him too.

He chuckled softly. "Cal come on, your legs don't work now." He asked lifting him up anyway with a grunt.

"My big, strong marine." He sighed softly, reluctantly opening his eyes to see the effort in Nick's expression.

"MMhmm." Lorne's face was tight every muscle strained as he toddled to the bed trying to get Cal there before his arms gave out. He looked so adorable, eyes and mouth screwed up in concentration. Cal had to leaned in a little closer and kiss the tip of his nose.

“Not...helping.” Lorne got out before dumping him on the bed in an ungainly heap

The bed was warm and soft, counteracting the careless way he was tossed onto it. Burrowing into the blanket, shirt, jeans, socks and shoes still on, he drew Nick close to him, kissing him sleepily. His mind and body exhausted, he fought off sleep long enough to look Nick straight in the eyes and whisper "I love you". His voice turning sleep heavy and child-like again he added "poke me, if I go back to not telling you often enough."

Nick smiled softly. "I know," He whispered gently running his hand over his brow. "I know." With Nick comforting him, he let sleep claim him. Nick smiled pulling off his shoes and socks sliding off his jeans and tucking him in.

The second date

2006-03-05T12:25:42Z

Kavanagh leaves the lab early for this date, making sure all his work for the day is wrapped up. He's still not ready to forgive, but Nick does seem to be genuinely trying. He thinks he should at least make an effort before Nick gets bored and stops trying.

He's left himself enough time to shower and change - into a pair of dark jeans and an old sleeveless Globetrotters shirt. That makes him feel self-conscious though so he puts a pullover on top. His hair hasn't quiet dried but he ties it up loosely, letting some of the curls hang free at the back and heads to Lorne's quarters, chiming on the door as he reaches there. It's an odd feeling to not be able to enter whenever he wants.

Lorne looked up as he heard the chime, heading to the door and opening. His smile was instant and brilliant as he saw him. "Hey you made it." He replied glancing at his watch before stepping aside. He was in his pistons top. He handed Kavanagh a beer as he let him in. "Sit down I'll set it up." He replied grabbing the disk from his desk and starting up the laptop.

"Thanks" he said accepting the beer and trying not to stare at Nick. His rounded shoulders and muscular arms displayed to full advantage in the top. He looked around trying to find the safest place to sit. The bed implied a level of comfort he wasn't ready for. The couch would be nice, but it could still end up with them being too close. Eventually he dragged one of the standard issue hardback chairs forward and sat down.

Lorne set up the laptop in front of the couch then looked up blinking at him slightly confused. "Okay..." He replied moving the table so it was now in front of Kavanagh. He grabbed a bowl of potato chips and opened his bear sitting on the edge of the couch nearest Cal, and pressed play on the game.

Calvin smiled as the familiar music started. "Who're they playing?" He asked, reaching for a couple of chips. With a start he realised he didn't care all that much. They'd missed far too much to know what was going on. It was still a pleasant sensation, having something to share with Nick.

"The bulls." He replied taking a swig before grabbing a couple of chips, looking over at him.

"Cool," he smiled, "this should be good. Any idea on how they've been doing?"

Lone looked back at the screen and laughed, "Not a clue." He replied with a grin

"Guess this stuff becomes less important when you're worrying about Wraith and ZPMs" he said, taking a swig of the beer to hide the way his eyes had lit up at Lorne's grin

"I guess." He replied grabbing some more chips and exclaiming as an acrobatic basket was scored.

Kavanagh cheered at the same time and the conversation was forgotten as they both became engrossed in the game.

Lorne had pulled the bowl closer as he grabbed the chips setting it between them, his eyes glued to the screen as he ate handfuls.

The sound of Nick crunching broke him out of the almost trance like state he was watching in. He reached into the bowl to grab some chips.

Lorne's hand slipped in accidentally grabbing Cal's and he froze.

At first he didn't register Nick's hand on his so caught up was he in the game. But his warmth become to seep through and he waited with a heavy heart for it to be removed. It was a common enough accident when sharing food. When Nick didn't take it away, he turned slowly to look at him, questioningly. Confusion evident in his expression.

Lorne's eyes were on the screen but it was evident he wasn't watching it. His hand stayed very still and his shoulders tensed a little waiting for Cal to pull it away and shout.

Nick didn't even seem to have noticed, his whole both tense in concentration as he focused on the game. A little hurt he gently slipped his hand away and decided to stop eating the chips.

Lorne glanced across to him and he placed the bowl in Cal's lap, surprised he hadn't been yelled at. "Sorry." He whispered "I didn't I mean...it was an accident and then it well..." He frowned looking down at the floor.

He didn't know when he'd become so bad at reading his once lover. There was a time they could communicate with just glances and smiles. The thought disheartened him. It hadn't been that long but they'd moved so far away. "S'ok, accidents happen", he muttered pushing the bowl back towards Nick. "I'm ok, don't want any."

Lorne frowned softly, "It's ok." He whispered I just...this slowly thing's kinda hard." He replied with a shrug. "It's weird not being allowed to..." He sighed and shut up accepting the bowl and setting it back on the table. Settling back on the game, he frowned softly his eyes moving back down to the floor, his shoulders hunched. "I'm gonna step over the line sometimes with this. You make the rules I understand that. You've every right to. I just want you to understand I'm not messing up on purpose. I am trying." He replied quietly

"I know. It's hard for me to know how to act too." He admits. "But I'm not some blushing 15 year old girl. Even if we're starting again, I think for a second date a little accidental hand holding is allowed." He teased with a soft chuckle

"Really?" He asked with a relieved smile. "So...can I?" His eyes are wide and hopeful if a little tentative as he looked over at him.

His stomach churned. He wanted to say yes. Actually he wanted to fling himself into Nick's arms. But there was still too much pain and anger he couldn't let go of. He continued to stare straight at the screen as he mumbled, "if you do it now, it won't seem like an accident." He'd tried to make it jesting, but was aware that he'd missed.

Nick blinked as he was shot down. "Oh..." He replied looking at his own hand before slouching in the couch. "Could've just said no." He murmured quietly trying to mask the hurt in his voice and failing deciding to cradle the beer in his hands instead. Staring at the glass all attention gone from the game.

He hated that Nick could make him feel this guilty and hurtful. After all he was the bastard who'd been sleeping around. He should be the one feeling guilty. Not turning those doe-ful eyes and soft voice on him. His thoughts spiralled into rage and he slammed down his drink, almost smashing the glass. "This was a bad idea." He said, with more control than he felt, getting up and trying to walk past Nick to the door.

Nick stood up, Cal..." He sighed softly "Calvin don't." He replied correcting himself. "I'm sorry just sit down ok." He asked.

"No I don't think so. Beer and sport is more of a military boy thing anyway, why don't you get Sheppard to join you?" He said, still trying to get past.

He closed his eyes at the barb. "Please." He asked gently. "I want to watch it with you."

The longing in his voice touched him, worked it's way through the anger. The outbursts were getting shorter and shorter, that had to be a good thing he thought, sighing gently. He sat back down without saying anything.

Lorne smiled softly. "Thanks." He replied sitting back down on the couch, his eyes resting momentarily on the screwed up photo reminding him of what he was doing all this for.

They watched the rest of the first quarter in silence, making the appropriate sounds when necessary but none of it having any meaning or passion behind it.

Lorne spent the time sneaking gentle glances of the man in the seat next to him, memories of watching games wrapped in his arms flooding back. He sighed and got up getting more beers, "want anything?" He asked

'Other than for you to have messed around with Colonel Kirk?' he thought bitterly but answered in a neutral tone. "No, I'm good. Thanks."

Lorne smiled softly. "Ok." He replied gathering the beers and setting them on the table before stretching out on the couch, watching the game. "How was the lab today anyway?" He asked.

"Fine, nothing much of interest." He answered, taking another beer. Belatedly he realised he should ask back. "Did you do anything much?"

"Not much now that incident is resolved." He replied. "Been kinda dull really, well until tonight," He added with a soft smile. "I'd been looking forward to this." He murmured. "Ok aren't you working on anything new?" He enquired wanting to listen to Cal's voice.

"Me too" he admitted softly. "Why the sudden interest in my work?"

He looked guiltily at his bottle picking at the label. A few long minutes passed before he whispered. "It's your voice...I miss listening to you. I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked." He frowned feeling like he just kept getting off on the wrong foot.

Flattered, he launched into a detailed explanation comparing the physiochemical properties of liquid naquadah compared to it's solid form. Finally comfortable with a subject for the first time all evening, he talked happily for about 15 minutes before he realised this must be so mind-numbingly dull for Nick that he'd probably changed his mind about the voice. "Sorry", he murmured "I'm distracting you from the game"

Lorne had closed his eyes, a soft perfect smile on his face as he listened, "No, game doesn't matter. I like it." He whispered. For those short few minutes allowing himself to feel normal for just a tiny perfect fraction of time.

Either he'd had too much to drink or it was the totally content look Nick was wearing that impaired his judgment, but he moved over to the couch, stretching out beside him. "Ssh" he ordered, "matters to me. I want to watch." He said sternly, mainly to stop Nick asking about his behaviour.

Nick opened his eyes and glanced at him with a nod and a soft grin. He gently leaned against him resting his head on Calvin's shoulder. "Ok." He replied. A gorgeously happy, dimple-filled smile on his face as he watched the game.

'Definitely the beer' he thought as he took another long drink, finishing the bottle and placed one arm loosely around Nick's waist.

Lorne smiled settling deeper against his shoulder his hand resting ontop of Cal's as he watched playing with his fingers idly.

He felt another small thread of anger start up within, but forced his mind away from images of Sheppard and on to happier times with Nick. Managing to stamp down on it, he smiled and relaxed. "Tell me about David," he requested, calling on the other thing they shared.

Nick smiled softly breathing in the chemist. "You mean generally?" He asked with a smile. "He liked my flowers." He murmured the grinned "He actually sang me to sleep that day." He whispered. "Damn I was exhausted hadn't slept in what 72 hours?” He shrugged. “He came in and saw them, he was bringing back my picture of you...he has a great voice." He replied quietly.

His eyes wandered over to the photo as Nick spoke and he felt lousy about ruining it. "He sang you to sleep?" He asked amused. "I'll have to talk him into singing some time." He grinned. "I meant earlier though. When did you decide...you know..."

He glanced up at him, "That I loved him? You don't remember? You were the one that told me. He whispered. You made me realise. David was in the infirmary, I was upset and angry. You told me I loved him and that's how I knew." He whispered listening to the soft pounding of Kavanagh's heart. "You know me better than I know myself."

Kavanagh smiled at the memory and the compliment. "No, I meant before then. When did you decide...you know...that you wanted him?"

Lorne smiled softly, "when he was hurt and I panicked. I don't panic in situations like that I stay calm and focused. But with him, all I could think of was him dying and it scared the hell out of me."

The pain in Nick's voice at the memory hurt him and he placed his head on top of his. "I remember,” he said softly, feeling like a total jerk. He'd thought the answer would involve some funny story about a crazy off world mission. "Sorry,” he whispered. "That must have been tough."

Lorne smiled softly, "It's ok". He whispered burying his head into his neck enjoying the feel of Cal's head on top of his. David, got through it just fine." He whispered blissfully content and relaxed. "What about you?" he asked gently

He reached for another beer, knowing he shouldn't even as he did. "I'm not exactly sure. It came on pretty slowly. He sorta just worked his way in." He said with a fond smile.

Nick smiled listening to the soft rumble in Cal's chest. "Really?" He asked amused as he grabbed one more himself drinking it leisurely.

"Yeah..." he replied thoughtfully. It was odd that he actually couldn't pin point it at all. "I think it started that evening- after the trial. I know I freaked out, but that was only because I couldn't understand why I was enjoying it so much." He paused for a moment, lost in thought. "I'm not sure, I still understand him. He'd just heard what I'd done and instead of taking you as far away from me as possible, he willingly put you forward to share." He shook his head as if he was talking about something crazy. "He's his own brand of special."

"He is." Lorne whispered with a sad fond smile before taking a swig his hand pulling Cal's arm tighter around him

Talking about David suddenly made him feel guilty for doing this without him and he pulled his arm away, moving to the edge of the couch.

Lorne had had his whole torso burrowed into Cal's, the quick movement causing him to land on the couch using his hands to stop him landing in an ungainly heap. He frowned his hair mussed he ran his hand through straightening it. Feeling humiliated he settled quietly against the other arm staring back at the label of his beer.

They watched the rest of the game from opposite sides of the couch. He didn't allow himself to look over at Nick, trying to focus on the game. He wanted to catch enough of it that if David asked he could give a reasonable answer.

Lorne finished his drink and then took another and then another, all the time his head resting on his hand his eyes staring at the table.

Kavanagh waited until it ended and the final score was up flashing up on the score. The globetrotters had won. Feeling none of the excitement he had when he'd walked in, he stretched and said quietly. "Thanks, that was fun. I should go though."

His words broke Lorne's trance and the marine looked up at him a truly desolate look in his eyes as he nodded quietly. "Yeah you should get back to David." He replied. "Cal...tell me one thing." He whispered softly. "Honestly tell me honestly. Do I EVER have a chance of winning you back?" He asked. He looked truly empty and miserable. He closed his eyes and shook his head giving a wan smile reopening them, the same look in those soft brown orbs. "Forget I asked that." He murmured. "Must be the drink." He whispered looking at the case of beer, something told him he would be emptying that case tonight. He stood up softly. "I'm glad it was fun." He replied quietly.

It was strange how volatile Kavanagh's moods were. One minute Lorne's pain was invoking anger and the next it was sympathy and then guilt. The last speech had managed to hit all three. "What if I said no?" He asked quietly, knowing he didn’t mean it, but not able to let go of the last of the pain yet.

He looked up at him, his wan smile fading "honestly? I don't know." He whispered seriously. "I just know I can't do this knowing there's no end in sight. I can't raise my hopes up every time you just smile at me." He whispered. "I'd probably serve out my tour here but I'd leave you alone." He replied then shrugged. "Protect you as part of my duties and more but I can't do this. Can't stand here with you and talk when all I want to do is..." He frowned looking up at him, the alcohol buzzing in his system. "Tell me straight." He whispered. "Tell me now." He added softly leaning up and pressing his lips against Cal’s boldly, pulling his head down achingly. His worries and inhibitions out the window as he searched for his answer in Kavanagh's response.

Shocked and hurt that Nick had so blatantly ignored his wishes he shoved Nick away hard.

Nick pulled back staring up at him as his world crashed down around him. He stumbled back tripping and landing on the table, the case smashing onto the floor, his hands landed in the glass. He stared up at him, dead and irreparably broken. A look of such utter despair there seemed no escape, a look so foreign to the young major's face it seemed an obscenity for it to mar his features. "That's a no then." He replied watching him. His blood seeping into the liquid slowly dripping to the floor. Kavanagh's rejection had destroyed him.

He wants to leave, get away but he can't. Can't leave Nick like this, alone and broken. He'd done this. He'd pushed him too far, punished him too much. And although he can’t forgive or forget, he thinks he can finally do the very simple thing both his lovers have requested on various occasions and give them a second chance. He rushes forward, helping Nick up by his forearms, careful to avoid the cuts on his hand. He sits him down on the couch, finding some clean bandages and wrapping up the cuts. Muttering "Sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry" the whole way through.

Lorne sat numbly watching him before he blinked pulling his hands away. "You'll leave." He whispered his eyes coming back to the room. "You'll yell and you'll leave." He murmured quietly.

"Let me finish this." Kavanagh replied sternly, checking to make sure there was no glass embedded in his palm. He gently kissed the muscular eminence close to the cut before wrapping it. "Sorry. You took me by surprise. I won't yell." He couldn't deny the leaving thing though.

Lorne blinked at him silent, his eyes searching trying to understand but his mind not letting him. "Why?" He asked his voice a mere shadow of moments earlier. "I don't understand." He replied.

He looked into Cal's eyes, his spirit broken as he asked "Why can I never win you back? Why can't you make this ok? Why are you helping? Why are you hurting me? Why did he do it? Why is it all so hard? Why do you keep putting me through this if I'll never be forgiven? Why can't I just be swallowed up? Why can't you make everything go away like he used to? Why do you want to hurt me so badly? Why can't you see I'm sorry? Why is it so easy for you to throw me away? Why is this all so hard for me to accomplish? Why did you push me and push me till I couldn't do it any more? Why did you break me?” He paused out of necessity to take a quick breath. “Why don't you love me anymore?"

All his anger and hatred dissolving against the onslaught of emotions, he takes Nick in his arms, gently rocking him back and forward. "I love you. I do love you. Of course I love you, do you really think it would hurt this much if I didn't. I never said you couldn't ever have me back, I just wondered what if and it was still a stupid thing to say. I did push and hurt you but you hurt me too. Nick, I needed you to feel that. I still do. Just tell me he didn't do anything for you. Tell me you still need me. That's all I wanted. That's the only reason I pushed you. You couldn't even do that. You couldn't even lie for me." He babbled back, his own emotions getting out of control, but he continued to hold Nick tight, afraid they'd both fall so far apart that they couldn’t be fixed if he let go.

Nicks fingers grasped at him uncomprehending. "I always needed you, this hurts because its you. You and Davey. You, you're hurting me. I need you and you won't...you don't listen you don't hear it. Why can't you tell I'm sorry? Why can't you tell I need you? You're my Cal...MY Cal. No one is more important no one." He babbled into his neck holding on tight.

"You never said,” he said quietly, running out of words. "I begged you to tell me he didn't mean anything to you and you never did."

"You wouldn't believe me, it wasn't important. The kiss hurt you.” Cal was hurting that was important. Had to make it stop, had to try. He whispered his heart rate calming a little instinctively in Cal's tight embrace. "I told you over and over it was a mistake. I was sorry it was a mistake. Over and over. But you just yelled and and tore...you took them away took my pictures, took my heart. Broke it, hurt me. He didn't mean anything because there's only two people who can hurt me like this. Only one that would want to." He breathed his face hidden in Cal's shoulder. "I let you. You hurt me and I let you."

"I still don't believe it. Don't believe that you would have stopped if I wanted come in. I saw you. I fucking saw you Nick. You needed him like you've never needed me. If I hurt you it was only because I was hurting myself. And I know David forgives you, I know he's perfect but I can't be him." He should have realised before that that was what Nick needed. "I can get him for you." Despite his growing anger, he kept up the tight grip. Not ever wanting to let go.

Nick screamed into his shoulder, a soul wrenching cry his bloodied bandaged hands grabbing Cal's face his forehead resting against Cal's. His eyes boring into him forcing him to stare down into it's despairing abyss. "I need you. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I need you need Cal need my Cal.” He whispered, the tears flowing down his cheek as he yelled at him. "Listen! Listen! I need you I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I need you. I'm sorry!” He screamed this all at him. "Listen! Hear me! Listen!" Every drop of passion every ounce of pain and love and hurt poured into his words as he yelled them.

His last attempt at trying to make him believe.

With their faces so close, Kavanagh didn't need to reply. Words were so ineffective anyway. They couldn't demonstrate any depth. Instead he kissed him, deep and bruisingly hard, his hand balling in the front of his T-shirt. "Show me" he gasped "show me how much you need me."

He kissed him back instinctively desperately lying down on the table his laptop falling to the floor. He didn’t care that glass was digging though his shirt and cutting into his skin. He didn't care that beer was seeping into his clothes. He just cared about Cal. He just needed Cal, pulling him on top taking his weight he kissed him.

Their moves were frantic and rough. Lorne arching on the table as he yanked down his jeans. Cal’s fingers already pulling down his own pants, his cock springing free. Lorne’s legs wrapped around the chemist tightly holding him close. His fingers digging hard into Kavanagh’s shoulders as rivulets of blood from his own back seeped into the beer.

Kavanagh moved his hand, pushing in to prepare him but Lorne batted it, away grabbing it in his own. “No. I need you now.” Kavanagh started to protest. He felt and returned the desperation but wanted to at least start with sweat and beer slicked fingers. Lorne’s whispered pleas and frantic eyes broke through his strained self-control though. And he pushed himself into the unprepared marine, his eyes dark and hysterical. Lorne cried out as he tore but his hands were holding onto him, urging him on.

His eyes full of hunger, full of need that burned into Kavanagh’s soul. His body pushing back forcing the chemist to keep moving, keep thrusting and it wasn’t long until the pair were rutting hard on the table. Hard, fast and reckless. Jeans wrapped around their knees. Cal’s cock impaling him. His rhythm irregular as he just pounded into the marine. Lorne’s own erection had lagged with the first instance of pain but as the wild hits struck his prostrate, he hardened fully, throbbing as it rubbed against Kavanagh’s stomach, leaving a trail of precome across his navel.

The movements grew harder and faster still. More urgent. The table shifted beneath them as they fucked passionately, needfully. All nails and teeth and thrusts plunging them to their climaxes. Lorne bowing and releasing between the pair of them. Kavanagh releasing deep inside.

Lorne collapsed back on the table his back arching as he sat up his shirt sodden stained in blood and beer. He frowned pulling it off tentatively.

Calvin kicked off his jeans and boxers the rest of the way, giving himself more maneuverability and reached to help Nick get rid of his shirt. Running his fingers along the several cuts, he kisses each one gently. The sweetness of the gesture at stark ends with the impulsive fuck they'd just had. "Sorry" he whispers onto each wound. Hoping Nick would know he was apologising for so much more.

Nick bowed forward. His back bent as Cal's words soothed him far better than any salve would. "I'm sorry too." He whispered gently. "Is all the glass out?" He murmured quietly.

"I think so," he nodded. "Want to see Beckett?"

Lorne shook his head, turning to face him, his arms wrapping around Cal tightly, his forehead resting on Cal's chest as he gave it a soft kiss. "Do you believe me?" He whispered softly needing to know the answer to his laden question

Cal moved them onto the bed, the couch hadn't managed to escape the rain of glass. "Believe what?" He asks, cautiously, knowing he still wouldn't lie to him. "I believe you're sorry."

Lorne curled up into him on the bed and nodded, "Do you believe I need you?" He whispered his arms wrapping around him as he rested his head on Cal's chest. The pain in his rear and on his back blooming together hotly.

Kavanagh kissed the top of Lorne’s head, holding him close. "I believe you need sleep." He teased. "You look exhausted......umm just don't expect me to sing you a French lullaby okay?"

"I don't." He whispered with a soft sigh. "Just need you." Lorne murmured. "Missed you." He breathed his eyes closed

"I missed you too." he replied, stroking his cheek.

He slowly sank deeper, "Love you." He murmured

"Oh god, I love you too Nick. So much." He responded, crystal clear. Wanting to make sure he heard

Lorne opened his eyes looking up at him, the first hint of a trusting smile on his lips. "Don't hurt me anymore." He asked softly.

Kavanagh shook his head rapidly and kissed him deeply. “No I won’t,” he muttered against his lips. “Don’t screw around with Sheppard anymore?”

Lorne kissed him back softly and looked up at him. "I won't." He whispered his fingers ghosting over Cal's cheek and tracing over the soft bow of his lips before kissing him again. “I won't." He whispered. "There's only you." He breathed softly settling his head in the crook of Cal's neck. “You and Davey."

Calvin returned each kiss with passion. "Yeah, just you, me and David," he laughed, giddy with the idea.

Lorne smiled happily kissing him back, his hand reaching down with a wince pulling the covers over them. His eyes filled with adoration as he looked up at him. He tangles their legs together after what had felt like a lifetime apart.

He frowned at the wince, taking Nick's hand in his and gently rubbing it between his fingers, trying to lessen the pain. He could see the love in Nick's eyes and felt it reflected in his own. There'd been a lot of heart ache and even though he'd always believed repeating exclamations of love too often just made them trite he says it again. "I love you Nick. I never stopped. Always." He reiterated the sentiment from the ruined and fixed photo.

Nick let him work on his hand handing it to him willingly his eyes locked on Cal's unchanging. "Always." He whispered softly. "Me too." He murmured leaning forward and kissing him longingly curling into him close his exhausted body tended to by Kavanagh's welcome touch.

Kavanagh wanted to just curl into Nick's strength like he always had. But Nick needed someone to be strong for him too. He silently promised to remember that. He ran sure hands down Nick's arms and back, careful to avoid the tender areas. His feet stroking Nick’s ankles and calves. He did nothing more than touch him and keep him close but could feel the relief and gratitude coming off of his lover as if it were something solid. That more than anything else done or said tonight convinced him he was needed and he smiled, kissing him again.

Lorne sighed softly kissing him back gratefully, his body relaxing his eyes closing as he sank. Days of poor sleep catching up with him as he continued to kiss him deep and longing before his movements slowed and he slowly fell fast asleep in the sure, strong arms of his lover.

Kavanagh held on, continuing to kiss the sleeping man, not able to get his fill. He kisses all the way across his forehead, down his cheek, on the ear lobe, stopping to pay extra attention of the strong angle of his jaw, the V of his neck and all the way back up again. Soft, peppered kisses. The fact that Nick doesn't even stir is a testament to his exhaustion. "Sorry" he whispers, barely making a sound as he kisses the corner of his lover's upturned lip. "I'm back now. I'll take care of you." He whispers as he keeps up his light barrage.

Lorne sighs in his sleep malleable and content his body settled where it should be. Where it fits perfectly. Almost understanding Cal's words he nuzzles in, sleeping uninterrupted through the night.

Dinner Date

2006-03-04T23:26:04Z

((OOC: This wonderful piece of babble was worked on by all three of us. We thought it'd be easier to post like this.))

It's past 8 and Andreoli is still arguing with Loscalzo over the power co-efficient of liquid naquadah. Kavanagh hasn't even been able to slip out for a minute to radio Nick.

Lorne sat on the chair looking at his watch thoughtfully for the seven hundredth time as he waited, he'd decided to give Kavanagh twenty minutes and then another and then another, knowing he would most likely stay up till past midnight before admitting to himself that Kavanagh didn't want to come.

He's about to call an end to it when Loscalzo mentions something about dynamic waveforms, suddenly the problem they’d been having with the compound from PXX 7366 fits into place and he rushes to his desk, opening up his simulation. He can still hear the raised voices of the chemists in the background indicating the meeting is going on. Soon afterwards though he gets so engrossed that he doesn't realise when silence descends. It's not until his stomach rumbles loudly that he even thinks to check the time. 0100 hours. "Damn!" he swears.

Lorne covers up the cold food setting it on the side and cleans away the table. He knows he's not going to be able to sleep and so pulls out the shoebox full of letter's he's written, pulling out the pad of paper and starting on another one.

He's not sure what to do. He wants to run to Nick's quarters and apologise but he'd be asleep by now. Instead he writes an email. "Nick, I’m so sorry. Got caught up in work. Hope we can do it again sometime." He signs it off as "Love Cal" almost instinctually but deletes it and ends it as it is

Lorne hears the beep and answers the email.
If you're not too tired, the food's still here I can make it a picnic.
Love Nick.
He offered.

Kavanagh taps his radio calling for Lorne. "Hey, I didn’t think you'd be awake. A picnic sounds good. Where do you want me to meet you?"

Lorne smiled to himself. “East Pier there's a balcony bit there over the ocean. Do you know where I mean?”

Kavanagh can hear the smile in his voice and replies in relief. "Yeah I can be there in 10 minutes"

“Great Umm.. that'll give me enough time to warm this lot up. I'll see you there then." He replied glad he hadn't changed from his date clothes grabbing the food and the shoe box and heading for the mess. Before walking over the hot food to the pier. Setting it on the side, he threw a blanket on the ground and waited.

Kavanagh leaves the lab, catching sight of himself in a reflective surface. After a long day in the lab, he’s a complete mess. Not exactly a great image for a first date. He decides to go back to his quarters to change, if he uses the transporter, he shouldn't be too late. On entering he notices David curled up asleep in the middle of the bed, a data-pad next to him. Smiling he nudges him awake. "David, you eaten?"

David murmurs softly and bats at Calvin's prodding fingers, rolling to his back and snuffling softly. “Mmh? s'what? heeeyy..you're home....” He drags Calvin down by the hand and wraps his arms around him, cuddling contently. "Nah..... don’t need food, s'overrated.."

He cuddles into David for a minute before looking serious. "Sorry David, I told the major I’d have dinner with him and well it's running a little late. So I really have to go .... come with me?"

David blinks sleepily down at his lover, thoughtfully running his fingers along his cheek. “Wait...you..wow, you're having *dinner* with him? Mmm--might not want me there, Calvin--might be best if I stayed home, huh? I mean…I don't want to mess things up for you two....”

"No! David you won't mess anything up.” He insists, upset at the thought that David could think he could ever be unwelcome. “You can be my back up for when I feel the urge to start screaming at him again." He says pulling him to his feet. "Come on"

David laughs sleepily and lets himself be pulled from Calvin's warm, comfy bed. "You can be the yelly one this time, that sounds good." He meanders over to the sink and runs a bit of cold water, splashing his face and rubbing it over his spiked-up hair. Calvin's standing at the closet looking thoughtful, so he creeps up behind him and pulls his shirt up and off before he can protest, brushing water-cold fingers against Calvin's tummy.

Calvin yelps as David's cold fingers brush against his skin but he takes the hint and chooses a light blue shirt that Nick had said looked good. He turns around to pull David into a quick kiss. "You know...this thing...with Lorne...whatever happens…won’t change...I love you, David." Embarrassed, he quickly looks away and finishes getting dressed.

David clings close as Calvin chooses a shirt and turns back to him. He's kissing at Calvin's temple, making sleepy-happy noises when Calvin says "I love you" and steps back to begin buttoning his shirt. David swears his heart stops, explodes, then resumes normal rhythm again in the space of a few seconds. He grins widely, nearly hurting his face, and fumbles to help Calvin button his shirt, noticing his lover's embarrassment. "Love you too, Calvin--think I always did..." He'll be emotional and overwhelmed later, for now Marc's waiting, Calvin loves him, and more than a few things are right in the world

As Kavanagh took his time, Lorne opened the shoebox taking out a piece of leather slipping all the letters in and tying it off. He then slipped a paper rose under the leather strap and set the whole thing back in the shoebox again. Looking at the water wistfully as he waited

After his shirt is all buttoned up, he steadies David's hands and kisses him one last time. Then they both rush out the door and to the balcony

The Atlantean floor is cold against his bare feet, and he's dressed in worn, ratty pajama pants and a tight tee-shirt, but this was Calvin's date, not his--and he was content to look sleepy and rumpled.

Lorne was looking down at his watch and sighed glancing back at the dark abyss of the ocean. Apparently there was some giant whale down there, the thought didn't surprise him. He stood up and leaned over the edge looking down before climbing over his hands on the barrier as he searched for a sign of it in that black mass.

As they walk up, he sees Nick on the wrong side of the barrier, leaning far too much over the edge. His mind flashes back to the conversation they'd had this morning. "You want me to jump right out of that window and into the ocean I will. You want me to lay down my life so you can be alone with David I will." And he rushes forward in a blind panic, not thinking whilst he crosses the rail.

His fear for Nick pushing away his fear of heights. "Nick" he gasps "Don't! Please don't." He enfolds him into an embrace, holding him close, but keeping one hand on the rail for support

David blinked sleepily for a moment when Calvin left his side, and then followed in a dead run, catching hold of the back of Calvin's shirt as he leaned over the rail. "C-calvin! Be careful!"

Lorne gasped looking back at him feeling his arm wrapped around him. "Cal what are you doing? You'll fall." He replied concerned.

"What'd am I doing?" He asked furious. "What THE HELL are you doing?"

David's head is buried against Calvin's shoulder, his arms tight around him, holding on desperately. He can hear Calvin's heart hammering in his chest, and just waits to hear the long wail that means Lorne's pitched over the side.

"You were taking a while so I got bored. I was looking for the whale people keep saying is out there, that’s all." He replied softly soothing him. "It's ok, I didn't mean to scare you." He whispered.

Kavanagh clings desperately for one second longer until he's convinced that he's been mistaken, before pulling away, feeling silly. "Sorry" he mutters and makes the mistake of looking down. A wave of dizziness hits him and he only stays upright because of David, using him as an anchor he pulls himself back over the barrier.

“Wooh..." Calvin sags in David's arms and he leans against the rail supporting him, blinking sheepishly up at Lorne as he climbs back over the railing. "Yeah.....just looked like....scared us, Marc....." He leans in and kisses Calvin's cheek softly, whispering "sokay...it's ok...I gotcha. Want to sit down?"

Lorne climbed over and watched him worriedly. "No, I'm sorry I really didn't mean to scare you." He whispered softly. “I just, I've been sitting in my quarters for five hours. I couldn't sit down any longer. I got restless, that’s all." He whispered worried that he'd ruined everything.

He glanced over at David and gave him a nod. "Hey." He replied softly a bit confused as to why he was dressed in his pyjamas on a pier in the middle of the night, before he paled suddenly wondering if the pair had come to tell him it wasn't working out.

Kavanagh leans into David, letting him sit him down on the blanket, his soft kisses snapping him back into the situation. He bites back a retort about Nick's jarhead mentality, reminding himself it's not up to him to lecture him anymore. Instead he focuses on the five hours, "Sorry, I was working. Now are we going to eat or are we going to let this get cold again.” Catching the odd way Nick looked at David, he explains, "I asked him to come."

"Oh, ok." He replied smiling at David before it faded a little at Kavanagh's brusque words. He nodded getting the food out, he'd worked hard to get all of Kavanagh's favourites and set them out on the blanket. "Umm you look nice by the way. Always liked that shirt." He replied with a soft shrug once he'd set everything out.

David folds Calvin close, trying to be as invisible as possible, --which isn't really happening considering he's wearing pyjamas on a balcony at 2 a.m.....Marc gets that wounded, panicked look in his eyes again as he glances at him and says hello, and David bows his head, murmuring softly. “I knew it was a bad idea for me to come, Calvin...I knew it.”

The spread makes him smile slightly and wince at the same time. Nick had gone to way too much effort, he'd not paid any attention to what he'd been trying to tell him earlier.

"No, it's fine. He's probably more glad to have you here than me. Let's just settle in." He whispers back.

David's tummy rumbles insistently against Calvin's back, and he pinkens, eyeing the food laid before them with such special care. "shush, you--he invited you to dinner, now enjoy it!" David shifts back, settling Calvin more comfortably between his knees, and smiles up at the still-standing Marc. “Gonna come sit down?”

Marc smiled a little and nodded feeling a little awkward as he sat opposite them. "Sorry if any of it's tough probably just the reheating." He apologised and settled down. He brought out a bottle and poured out everyone's drinks. “Umm tuck in." He announced trying not to feel ganged up on. The thought of dinner made him nervous enough with just Kavanagh, with the pair of them and with them so close together it made him feel worryingly out of his depth.

Kavanagh takes a long sip of the drink before breaking of a piece of the sweet bread. He pops some in David's mouth, tentatively reaching out to hand another piece to Nick. "It's good" he mumbled, "try some"

Lorne accepted it, "Thanks." He whispered, willing his hand to stop shaking as he popped it into his mouth and settled back against the rail. He made sure the other glasses were filled up, having only thought to bring two. He doubted he could drink anything anyway the way his stomach was churning. "Umm try the chicken." He offered.

David slowly took the bite into his mouth, glancing worriedly over at Marc as he sits against the rail, leaving his food untouched save one bite. This is wrong, this is uncomfortable--this isn't who they are. He lifts Calvin's glass and takes a long sip to encourage himself, then clears his throat. “This is ridiculous, guys--dates are supposed to be fun--Marc looks like he's going to throw up, Calvin--you're being so quiet.....please, guys.....if me leaving will help, I will---if me staying will help, I will--I'll get naked and tap-dance if it will help--just tell me what I can do.

Lorne frowned softly leaning back against the railing and looking miserable. ”No it's my fault. I'm sorry.” He replied growing tired of constantly apologising and worrying. “I've just been nervous about this all day, its turned out all wrong." He murmured standing up.

David rolls to his feet, meeting Marc as he stands, Calvin still on the floor between his legs. "no--stop it, sit down.....dammit." He puts his hand to Marc's chest, pushing gently, urging him to sit, falling to his knees between the marine and Calvin. “This is hard, but this is still ok--just.....let's just....I don't know...just don't go.”

Kavanagh nods at Nick. "David's right. Sit down. Come on, you went through all this effort." Noticing David had forced him down he changes the topic "So how'd you manage actual chicken?"

Nick sat down quietly picking at the chicken and shrugged softly, "It's not, actually it's almost chicken but I used my mom's chicken stock cubes." He replied with a soft shrug.

David laughs softly, picking up a bit of the chicken between his fingers, eyeing it speculatively before he pops it into his mouth. He closes his eyes and smiles, his head tipped up to the moonlit sky. M'god, Marc...you're a genius--tastes almost real! Lots better than that weird soya stuff they keep giving us in the mess.

Calvin relaxes against David, he's nods in agreement after trying a piece, not quite sure what to say. He'd told Lorne he needed to start back at the beginning but he didn't have a clue how to do that with all their history. "You mom was always a good cook. She told me you'd inherited the gene." He says as neutrally as possible.

He shrugged, "Well maybe it just hitched a ride with the ATA one." He replied trying a soft smile before his shoulders and smile fell at Kavanagh's neutral blank look.

"Yeah…." Kavanagh said stretching the word out until they fell back into an awkward silence. David was right this should be more fun. He turned to him with a grin, "Did you say something about naked tap-dancing?" He prompted.

Lorne blinked and sighed deciding he'd get more of a response from his chicken as he let the two of them talk, eating quietly.

David breaks into peals of helpless laughter, poking at Calvin's shoulder, falling over until his head is pillowed against Marc's knee, Calvin still against his own lower body. “First you drag me out of bed at 2 am to eat fantastic fake chicken, now you want me to tap-dance naked? I think not, Calvin--that's a second date thing, right?

Lorne stopped eating and stiffened lightly looking at the pillowed head, his fingers curled in on themselves before he tentatively played with the blond strands.

Kavanagh smiles as Nick plays with David's hair. It breaks the tension a little. He scoots up his body, so he can do the same. Two different sets of fingers running through David's wonderfully soft and thick hair. He wondered if he could stroke past Nick's fingers and make it look like an accident. Deciding to be brave he attempts it.

David watches them both, smiling as Calvin slips close, his face near, body against his, and strokes his hair along with Marc. Maybe he can be this for them--the thing they share, have in common, when nothing else is right again just yet. He sighs long and soft, giving both Calvin and Marc soft smiles before he lets his eyes slip closed in pleasure. "mmmh, well I guess this was worth getting out of bed for....you two are too good at that...."

Lorne flushed at the tingle running up his fingers as Cal moved past them. His fingers moving a little more confidently in Parrish's hair, brushing past Cal's fingers this time.

There is a soft tingle of fright, tension, almost-fear that runs up his nape and down his spine as large fingers twine in his hair. But Calvin is there, and his face is close, cheek chiseled and beautiful in the moonlight, and the feeling eases after a second of breathless tension. He can feel Marc and Calvin dodging around each other, careful, afraid--and he puts one hand in the small of Calvin's back, twining the other up and back to wrap Marc's waist, a soft content sound rumbling from his chest.

Nick's touch feels much better than it should when he's still so mad. But he can't help the tingle of pleasure running up his arm and the butterflies in his stomach. Mentally, he laughs at himself. He really is acting like this is a first date. Then David's hand is on his back, making him more confident and he purposefully twins his fingers with Nick's under the pretense of smoothing down a particularly difficult tuft of hair.

Lorne's fingers brush lightly against Cal's gently over the knuckle before sliding back down to Davey's hair, his breath caught in his throat.

David's voice is a sleepy mumbling slur, the tone bemused. “If you two are finished playing around, one of you gonna kiss me, or am I gonna have to move from my comfy position here?

Lorne frowned and ducked his head, his fingers stilling as he deferred to Kavanagh, a soft ache in his chest.

Calvin and David exchange a look before Kavanagh smiles indicating with his hand. "Go ahead." He knows Lorne must have missed that.

Lorne blinks up at him in surprise. "Are you sure?" He asked, shock colouring his features, before taking advantage of the generosity and lovingly placing the most chaste kiss he could manage on David's lips.

Calvin laughs a little. "You call that a kiss? Go on, show him you mean it...I'm sure." He adds in a more sombre tone.

David grins widely and shoots Calvin a mischievous look. He pulls insistently at Marc's head, bringing his lips down again, David's upside-down from Marc's, giving the kiss a strange asymmetry that makes him dizzy. For a moment he's lost in lips and slick tongue and the soft wet sounds he makes against Marc's lips.

Mmmph." Lorne is pulled down before he opens his mouth willingly sighing softly as he kissed him, he'd missed this, missed it so desperately. His soft pleased moans drowning in the kiss.

David answers the soft sounds, slipping his hand low against the curve of Calvin's back.

Watching the two of them kiss is a wild turn on. He tells himself it's just because of David. His lover's cute, sleep-rumpled look that's making his heart flutter. He tries to deny that he's watching Nick too. Watching the slow move of Nick's lips; admiring the curvature; the hint of moisture and the 'just been kissed' bright redness. He closes his eyes and imagines it's him kissing them. The soft moans just enhancing the fantasy, without being aware of it a groan escapes him.

Lorne broke off the kiss reluctantly looking up at him with kiss bruised lips and bright eyes. "Sorry." He whispered mistaking it for disapproval.

Marc pulls up for a breath, and David keeps a hold on his collar, lifting his own head to bring Calvin in for a kiss, his lips still wet with Marc's taste

Calvin gives David a quick kiss. The brief contact is already enough for him to be able to taste Nick on David's lips. Afraid he won't be able to control his reaction if he has any more, he pulls away, studiously avoiding both of their eyes.

Nick watched him longingly before ducking his head, knowing it would do no good to long after him.

David frowned, his pale eyes going dark as his pupils widen, his lust for Calvin absolutely evident. "now, s'not fair, is it? Shouldn't you have to give me a proper kiss too? He bites his lip and leans back, making Calvin come to him.

Not sure how else to respond he leans into David's space, stroking his cheek, their eyes locked, silently begging not to make him do this. He kisses him again, slightly longer but just as superficial.

David's breath catches in his throat and he nods imperceptibly, his blue eyes sparkling with a hint of hurt nonetheless. He wipes his face clean of the upset look and glances up at Marcus, his smile sweet and soft. After a few moments he sits up and reaches over Calvin's shoulder to grab a small purple fruit, and pops it in his mouth. “This was really sweet of you, Marc.--"

Marc shrugged softly smiling pleased that he liked it. "It's ok." He replied softly. "Least I could do, wanted the first date to be special." He replied

David strokes his hand gently down Calvin's hip, intent on avoiding eye contact with his lover for a little while--it had stung, not being kissed, not being able to show his love for Calvin in front of Marc---what good was all this if he couldn't do that? “Well it was special", he breathed, smiling—“but I really need to get back to bed...."

He knows he's hurt David and he promises he'll make up for it later. For now, he turns a goofy happy smile towards him. "That was our first date - getting you to bed." He stands up, pulling David with him. "Thanks," he says to Nick "the food was great. Sorry I forgot about dinner."

“That's ok." He replied watching them looking up, not expecting it to end so quickly but understanding that it had to.

David leans in and gives Marc a soft kiss on his cheek, his fingers ruffling the hair at the Marine's nape. He whispers: “it really was nice--you'll win us over yet”. He pulls back with a grin and rubs fitfully at his eyes, like a sleepy little boy, then yawns, leaning against the rail, waiting for Calvin to be ready.

Lorne smiled up softly at him, his eyes lighting up at the gentle words.

He longed to repeat David's soft gesture but settled for a small smile. "Night"

Lorne sighed softly. "Night." He whispered gazing up at him. A small wan smile on his face as he tried to quash the tightening of his chest. He glanced down at the spread. "I could..." He trailed off uncertain. "Could walk you both home." He murmured quietly. "If you want."

David blinks sleepily, and gives a muzzy, half-awake smile, reaching out to drag Calvin close by one hand. He knows, left to his own devices, Calvin will say no--loudly and often--that's why David’s here. “Why, Major Lorne, we'd be delighted if you'd walk us home..." He uses his best fake southern belle accent and rolls his eyes at himself. I've been hanging around Katie too long.

Kavanagh rolls his eyes and smiles fondly at him. "If David wants...I guess...you could do"

Lorne smiled softly at David, "Oh good." He replied standing up. Grabbing something out of the shoebox and carrying it with him. His smile faded a little as he watched Kavanagh. He just had to remind himself, one day perhaps...just maybe he'd smile that fondly at him once again. Or do something because Marc wanted to. "Ready?" he asked.

He nods, looking over at the sleepy David. "Yep, I think we are. In fact if we wait any longer we may have to carry him back. And he's heavier than he looks." He teased, nudging him softly in the ribs.

Lorne nodded quietly gathering the food up and setting it back in the basket. Slipping the make shift book back into the shoebox, it wasn't time just yet. He picked it up and waited at the door.

David mmhs quietly and wraps Calvin's arm around his waist. "m'not heavy, I'm just tall and I weigh a lot, totally different. Anyway, you've not been carrying me around, you don't know." He yawns again, fit to break his jaw, and leans his head on Calvin's shoulder. “Can’t help it, m'a growing boy"

Kavanagh squeezes the arm around David’s waist, holding on to him tight. His geniune smile for David still in place when he looks up at Lorne. "Apparently he's still a boy! You ever feel like we're committing a felony here." He says dragging them back towards the transporter, looking back to see Nick is still following.

David laughs and pats Calvin's rear as they approach t he transporter. "mmmhmm...I'm jailbait--Katie'll be so proud. Be nice and I'll wear my really short shorts for ya one day.” He cranes his neck and calls back over his shoulder. “Need some help, Marc? You got it?"

“I'm fine." He replied carrying the basket as he followed quietly behind. He smiled slightly at Cal and nodded "Just a bit." He murmured.

Calvin ushered David in and waited for Nick, automatically reaching out a hand to help and smiling at his comment.

Lorne climbed into the lift taking Cal's hand automatically before dropping it when he realised what he'd done with a mumbled apology.

"It's fine," Cal murmured back as he touched the destination. The transporter flashed then the doors opened at the corridor just around the one Kavanagh's quarters were located on.

Lorne stepped out letting them get out of the transporter, "You ok from here?" He asked.

David is half-asleep by the time they reach the hallway, his head buried in Calvin's shoulder. He murmured a soft thank you to Marc as he shuffled by.

Cal stifles the stab of disappointment at Nick wanting to leave. He's not sure what he was expecting anyway. He nods curtly. "Yes thank you Major, we'll be fine." He says leading David down the corridor, still holding him close

Lorne stood quietly for a moment, knowing he'd done something wrong when Cal called him by his rank, he ran after him, "Maybe to the door then." He replied quietly.

"Whatever you want is fine. I think David's dead to the world anyway." He says kissing the top of his head, which rested on his shoulder.

"Umm yeah but well do you want me to walk you to your door?" He asked

He shrugs. "Like I just said, I'm not bothered either way." Suddenly finding an excuse, he adds: "although it might be hard to get David in bed like this. Maybe...I could use a hand."

Lorne blinked a little hurt, before smiling gently. "Sure ok." He replied quietly.

It was only a few more steps before they were at his quarters. The door opening silently, with a thought. "Could you get the covers?" He asked Nick, who'd followed him in. David was a warm, comfortable weight in his arms and he hated putting him down.

"Sure," Lorne replied putting down the basket and pulling back the covers so Cal could place Parrish in the bed.

Kavanagh managed it with some difficult, David clinging to him. He almost slid in next to him but didn't want to do that with Nick still there. He gently stroked his back and whispered into his ear, promising to join him soon.

Lorne smiled slightly tucking the botanist in, before suddenly feeling awkward standing in their bedroom. "Thank you for...well agreeing to the date." He replied softly

"Thank you for organising it. I know you guys have had your hands full recently.” He said searching for a conversation topic and collapsing down on the couch.

"I made time." He replied with a soft shrug. "It's ok."

"Maybe we could do it again sometime?" Kavanagh asks casually, hoping that Nick'll hit on the idea he missed the first time round.

Lorne smiled softly, "I'd like that." He replied gently.

Barely stopping himself from rolling his eyes he prompts, "any ideas?"

"Oh umm," He laughed embarrassed ducking his head, "We could, I mean, well my brother sent me the newest globetrotter games, I know you like them so, if you want we could watch those." He offered.

He smiles warmly as Lorne is looking away. He was getting closer. Back to being his Nick. Straightening his features he nods, "sure ok, that sounds good."

Nick glanced up at him, "Ok, is tomorrow ok? Lunchtime?" He asked

He looks at him, incredulous. "You're kidding right? Since when does anyone take more than 20 minutes for lunch around here? I know I wouldn't take it from anyone in my department.

"Oh...yeah hadn't thought that one through. I keep forgetting the shifts are different." He murmurs. "Umm around 8 then?" He asked

Cal nods. "Ok. I'll ask David too....if you want?"

"Oh well...won't the game kinda bore him?" Lorne asked quietly

He can see that's an obvious excuse. They both know David enjoys basketball but he murmurs in agreement anyway. "Yeah, you might be right...."

Lorne smiled slightly, "Yeah." He replied with a soft nod picking up the basket and playing with the handle, so I'll see you tomorrow night then?" He asked

"Yeah...call me if I forget." He gets up to see Nick out, walking to the door.

Lorne nodded walking to the door, "Yeah I will." He replied looking up at him.

Kavanagh looks at him for a moment, still wanting to kiss those perfect lips, and nods. "Ok good night. Sleep well."

He sighed and nodded, "good night." He breathed before stepping over the threshold back into the hall.

Cal leans back against the door, imagining he can feel Nick's heat from the other side. Shaking off the feeling he quickly gets changed and slips into bed, snuggling next to David. His heart aches for Nick for a moment, at least he's not alone. But as he thinks it the image of Nick kissing Sheppard, his hard erection thrusting into Sheppard's body and the guilt is replaced with righteousness.
Nick deserves to be alone.

Mission - The things I do for these people

2006-03-02T23:20:54Z

He gathered all his stuff. There were three large packs. He didn't want to leave behind something he might need in the analysis. Putting one over his shoulder and dragging one each in each hand, he stumbles his way to the 'gate. Weir and Lorne have already taken all the excitement out of this mission. So he ambles slowly, stopping every few minutes to readjust the heavy packs. As such, he's the last one there. Nick's team are already there and look to be in various states of agitation.

Ignoring Nick completely, he talks to no-one in particular. "Well? What are we all standing around here for? Some of us have time that is actually worth something." He shuffles the bags again, glaring menacingly at one of the marines at random - he never could be bothered to remember names of the not important people.

An act of kindness

2006-03-02T11:12:19Z

'Lunch' with David had been pleasant but David had to get back to work. He, on the other hand, was completely prepared for the mission later in the afternoon and had nothing to do. He had been meaning to talk to McKay - one scientist to another - and now seemed like a good as time as any to do it.

He headed to the main lab, he was huddled over his laptop with a power bar by usual. He strode up to the desk and coughed to announce his presence. McKay either didn't hear or chose to ignore him. He sighed, putting his hands down on the table. "McKay?"

An olive branch - sort of

2006-02-28T13:48:47Z

Walking down the corridor, he thought back over David completely chewing him out yesterday over his 'lack of appreciation' for Major Lorne bringing them breakfast. "He's making an effort Calvin. You said you would too." A will of steel belied the gentle words and arguing had proven useless. Naive and idealistic as he is, he still thinks this can work. Thinks we should forgive the jerk after what's been barely more than a week. And wow can he be incredibly 'persuasive' when he wants to.

Lorne was coming back from the mission today and to keep the peace he'd said he'd take him some dinner. Except as the day creeped on and he spent more time thinking about Nick and what he'd done, his already feeble desire to build bridges was becoming less and less. He didn't want to see him. Didn't want to have anything to do with him. Ever again.

Needing to stick to his word, for David's sake, he was taking him some food anyway. The major was due back soon but he still had to go through the post mission protocol. He could just leave it in his quarters. Letting himself in, he placed the tray on the table and scribbled a quick note. Thanks for breakfast, David. Lorne would be able to recognise his writing but at least he'd know the sentiment wasn't his.

Turning around to walk out, he noticed a box overflowing with the pitiable paper flowers David had mentioned. He fought hard against the urge to empty it out from the balcony. Surely Lorne didn't think either of them were cheap enough to be impressed by such an empty gesture. Stamping down the hate, he left quickly, before he did something he'd have difficulty in explaining to his new lover.

Nothing spoils lunch quicker

2006-02-24T10:17:44Z

David subtly leads him back to his quarters. They walk in silence. Both of them lost in their own thoughts. As they enter the room and the door slides shut behind them, Kavanagh places their hastily retrieved lunch on the desk, coming to a decision. He turns around to face David and kisses him. The surprise and force enough to allow Kavanagh to push him to the wall. He presses their bodies together, holding David there whilst continuing to kiss him bruisingly hard.

He pulls his head back, when lack of oxygen starts to become a problem, leaving his body in place. "Why, David?" He asks, gasping. "Why would you forgive him? Why would you let him hurt you again? Why am I not enough?"

Suddenly exhausted, and not sure he wants to hear the answer, he stumbles over to the chair and slumps down in it. Muttering "never mind", he grabs an almost apple-like fruit and focuses all his attention on it.

"Work, exacting work moves mountains."

2006-02-22T13:20:03Z

Getting back to his quarters, Kavanagh rearranges a few things, taking down the few pictures of Nick and adding them to the pile from Lorne's quarters, functioning automatically.

He heads to the shower and spends a long time just standing beneath the spray of comfortably hot water, letting it wash away all the pain and tiredness. Eventually he comes out, dresses in a clean uniform and sits down at his laptop, opening his notes on the explosive chemical found on PX7 463. He doesn't feel like heading to the lab but they're not ready for practical tests yet anyway so he can work from here. Before long he's set up a perfect 3D replica of its molecular structure and is running through several simulations. Getting caught up, he can almost remove both Lorne and David from his mind. This is much more like it. Work always used to be all he needed to be happy. No reason he couldn't get back to that.